Married to a Message Man: What Should I Do?
(This article is intended for a wife who has questioned / doubted / disbelieved the Message – while her husband continues to believe)
For the last few years, perhaps the most frequent message I’ve received from women across the world relates to marriage. Some of the messages I’ve received are utterly heartbreaking – often sharing stories of severe neglect, verbal & mental abuse and spiritual domination (“you are the woman, I am your lord”).
Nearly every case involved a woman coming to realize that the message was false, while her husband refused to acknowledge her plea to examine or provide answers to her questions. Often the wife was left with threats of neglect, abandonment, and abuse (towards her and/or her children) if she persisted to question/doubt. In some cases, the husband threatened to use their children as leverage against her (“if you don’t keep coming to our message church and believe Brother Branham, I’ll forbid you from seeing our children”). In the worst cases, there was physical battery – from the husband, and a blind eye from the ministry (who knew and refused to help – or committed their own acts of abuse in support of the husband).
I wasn’t always able to respond, in part because I felt inadequate to answer while transitioning away from the message. I didn’t want to ruin a relationship by offering advice based on one-side, and minimal information.
Now that time has passed – I have a more healthy view of everything. So – I’ll give my thoughts.
The Reason for Fear
Marriage and divorce is such a strong doctrine in the message, especially with the dynamic of absolute male headship. A woman in the message has been thoroughly indoctrinated to believe that she is in every way submissive and below the headship of man. She should always be under some form of headship – whether under a father, husband or pastor. Unless she has a good husband or pastor who does not abuse his “rightful” position of power, she is in a complete position of weakness and vulnerability.
- She has been trained to think her gender is the cause of all evil. Her worth is often only as much as her husband gives – and it makes it difficult to navigate the emotional trauma of being treated as though she is worthless.
- To “doubt” the message or express unbelief opens her to extreme emotional vulnerability. A husband can lash out at her and manipulate her judgement by reminding her of her spiritual depravity (which the message has endless material for) – by linking her to Eve or Jezebel, for example.
- Many message women are relatively uneducated or have been discouraged from pursuing further education – especially those from past generations. They depend on their husband to provide security and basic needs for her and her children (unless he’s completely delinquent, as some message men can be). It leaves her in a position where she may feel powerless to express doubt/desire to leave – because he can financially manipulate her to extremes. Many of my emails came from women in areas of Africa where near poverty was already an issue.
- The message operates by it’s own law – their ways are higher than the law of the land. Thus, as lawmakers in their own home, men in the message are largely operate by their own rule and sovereignty. Women feel powerless to contest his rule – and in times of instability, a man can invent new rules and laws to bring back “order” to bring his family back in line. He has plenty of quotes and scriptures in his arsenal.
- Message ministry are often negligent to interfere in the home. Why? Because the marriage and the home type the church. The role of the male is sacred – and a Pastor wouldn’t want anyone meddling in his affairs either. Pastors often default to protecting the male – and women know it. I’ve seen it…. countless times.
- Furthermore, if the husband tells the pastor that his wife no longer believes the Message – then it leaves her open to shame, ridicule and an onslaught of cult-like tactics to manipulate her fears that have been fostered by the message environment. She will have few, if any, allies.
- Just because she doesn’t believe the message doesn’t mean she doesn’t believe in or fear God. Though she may be abused in her own home, she also fears the wrath of God on any decision to take action against her ‘head’ to protect herself. So she is caught between an abusive/controlling husband – and a wrathful God who forbids her to leave.
- Life outside the message is said to be hopeless, aimless, empty, horrible. To leave the message is doom and death. This is what you may have heard all your life from message preachers and theology. But is it? Are you going to fall off the edge of the earth into utter darkness and despair – and become a sin-loving wretch? Ummm. No. You are fighting with tactics of manipulation that the message NEEDS to make itself important and necessary. There are many other churches/religions/groups that use these same tactics; you can learn all about it over time.
There is more than could be said. Ultimately, the thought of a wife leaving is an impossibly terrifying option to even consider. Based on the options, the only reasonable outcome of leaving is a decision for earthly ruin, or heavenly damnation.
That makes me sick to think about. What a horrible place to be trapped.
My Advice: Just my Opinion
If you are a sister who is given in marriage within a “message believing” home – and you come to a realization (as I did) that the message is unbearably false, it can feel like a brutal imprisonment. You’ve committed to living a life under the rule of a man who expects you to submit and obey the rules according to the doctrine of the message. There is NO ONE who can understand how brutal it is to experience disbelief in opposition to loved ones and family – until you’ve been there. People who try to leave religious groups that practice strong undue influence often experience PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) – so the emotional trauma is real. Don’t dismiss your overwhelming experience and fears as “crazy” or irrational – it’s real.
Answer this Question: Do you feel you are in actual danger?
That’s my first question. More important than anything – if you feel your life, or the life of your children is at risk – this isn’t a religious conflict anymore. Get out. Call someone you trust (hopefully not someone in your message church). Call a women’s shelter or helpline. Call the authorities if you need. You can work things out with faith and God later. It should NEVER come down to you feeling unsafe, and that your well-being is threatened. If a church/religion/marriage makes you afraid for your life, it’s not healthy in any circumstance or scenario.
Did You have a Good Marriage until the Difference of Opinion?
My first desire is that you and your husband can work through the discomfort and communicate. I realize usually when a woman has written me, she has likely exhausted nearly all her immediate emotional reserves to remain and ‘try’. But it is important that you DO try in earnest to work through. In some cases, you may be married to someone you love deeply, and whom you’ve enjoyed a good marriage relationship/friendship with. That’s a good foundation to work on – because you’ve seen what kind of man he can be. Now – time to reach for understanding & communication.
Keep this is mind: When you are marrying in the message, there is no expectation to see such a dramatic change in a spouse where the other begins to ‘disbelieve’. It is, in essence, the worst scenario for the still believing partner. What do they do now? They weren’t supposed to marry someone who was unequally yoked in the faith – and the ‘change’ threatens to ruin their future and vision of marriage too. So you can expect – the reaction will be emotional and possibly harsh.
To me, that is understandable to human nature. That deserves some patient understanding towards a partner to give them time to process the scenario. But there should be an appeal to mutual understanding – communication is the way to work things out, and you should be able to ask for conversation to occur in a thoughtful manner. The thing that hopefully exists at the time of expressing doubt is that “love” and “care” for each other is still important – and should be forefront in the ensuing conversations.
Also note that in message churches, I’ve seen good people come to heated disagreement – and close friendships are broken and lost. Churches fragment and separate over disputes of doctrinal interpretation. It’s often less of a reflection of the people involved as it is a reflection of the system. It’s the reason I have a distaste towards many aspects of religious organizations (in particular groups like the Message) – it has a tendency to divide and tear apart. All because people have passionately invested in an extreme interpretation – and the alternative is a non-option. The passionate views overwhelm a person’s natural personality – to the extent that they no longer behave in their authentic personality (such as, the kind, sweet gentleman you know is suddenly yelling, cursing and threatening).
It would be my first hope that a husband who is acting harshly is not doing it because that is who HE is – but rather because he’s caught in the message mentality/system that requires him to deflect opposition and challenge to his ultimate revelation. I would hope that you can somehow appeal to the man inside – to the man who you love and who has been your companion. He’s trapped – just as you were. And he’s fighting in fear for everything he’s been indoctrinated to believe (that if you disbelieve – you are in spiritual desolation).
I also know that not every situation works like I just mentioned. Some churches and people are entrenched in a further extreme of the message spectrum. Perhaps the marriage was uncomfortable to begin with. It’s unfortunately a reality – in extreme religions, there can be unnatural pressures to bring marriages together – and they suffer before they get started. In such cases where things are clearly bad/destructive – it feels hopeless, and perhaps it is impossible to reconcile the difference. But try. Fight for your partner and family as long as you are safe. Read books about mind control, undue influence, spiritual abuse. The internet will help inform you with mountains of insight.
Is it possible to come to a peaceful compromise?
A wife should be able to decide to attend a different (denominational) church if she desires to pursue God – but cannot tolerate attending a message church anymore. She shouldn’t need to spiritually starve and have no choice for herself. If peaceful compromises can be made where love can overcome differences, and a home can still be made – it’s admirable. I’ve known message people to try this and to do it successfully. But it is ultimately very difficult to accomplish it, especially if you belonged to a more strict sect within the message – and the husband is accustom to enforcing headship. It can be embarrassing for him to bend and compromise for the sake of the wife.
Sometimes these situations can reveal a gentle nature, or a genuine love that a husband has for his wife and family. If he is willing to allow love to prevail for the sake of his marriage – I respect that. And in some cases, with time, the husband can grow to become softer to understand the questions she has – and may begin to walk towards realizing the issues she has.
See what compromises can be made. But always be aware of your own mental health and well-being – sometimes compromise is still a prison and a kind of emotional slavery.
Big Decisions: When Home becomes Toxic
I will never be an advocate of separation or divorce. I do believe in commitment and loyalty. For a religious person, the act of divorce can be devastating in many ways; especially coming from a message mentality. Most women resign themselves to an understanding their life is over if they divorce. But depending on the level of disagreement and conflict – so is staying.
I think that there comes a time when a home is so toxic and a relationship so badly fractured that it is insane to stay together. I will not speak of the issue of remarriage – that is a complex issue for a Christian. I would recommend if you did ‘separate’ that you spend a significant amount of time examining the questions of your faith. Seek diligently, find resources for support. Find a safe place for you to naturally take care of yourself (and children?), look for a place of spiritual health (it may be a church…it may be within yourself) – and THEN make a decision concerning your marriage.
Though divorce is not ideal (I don’t think anyone marries with divorce in mind) – it is BRUTAL to live a life trapped in misery and emotional despair. Your life is precious – and to live all your years in misery, suffering the abuses of intense disagreement and distance from a partner who is supposed to represent ‘love’ – it’s tragic. I don’t think anyone deserves that. Don’t let fear rob you.
That’s my opinion. I know that it’s easier said than done – none of this is easy in any way. But when you’re thrown into the fire of turmoil and confusion – you can stay, or you can fight to survive. In the end, there are stories of people who fought to survive – and they were rewarded with new hope and life. To the women who have fought this battle – I hope, pray and trust you’ve found strength to endure your road.
The True God-The Lord Jesus Christ – chose a vessel to bring His Message to this Endtime generation- Bro William Marrion Branham-a very humble person. This Message is in Agreement to the Bible-100%. It talks to those God wills them to see-understand. In marriage, such couples are living nobly, even kingly-the Husband treating His queen/wife lovingly- they agree because the Message places each in their position in marriage. What the People need is the Holy Ghost to live True Christian lives- the Principles echoed in The Message. May this site not mislead any daughter of God- happily none shall be. I would that the owner of this site seeks God on His knees for Divine revelation of Who Bro Branham is , How God prepared him for His use in our or this end of time,and be a firm follower not critic- one cannot fight God in His work long. Time is drawing near for a show down-don’t get closed out of Grace Period deceived to leave the message- The Message is in The Bible- our portion at this end of time. Be blessed with Revelation of Truth. This response had to come to this site today for the same of God’s elect-Sons and Daughters.
Thank you for your comment; I appreciate the good intention you have written with.
Whether or not a person is a follower of the Message, the ideal marriage relationship should be just as you describe wherein the husband treats his wife lovingly. That is an aspiration should be shared between anyone who would enter into a marriage. I have witnessed loving marriages of this type both inside and outside the message – and for that, I am happy when a man and woman learn to live together in love and harmony. However, we often see a void/lack of love – even to the extent of abuse. And although it’s something that one would not want to accept, it also happens in marriages within message circles. Unfortunately as a former message minister, I saw firsthand how ugly it could be given the power a man held over his wife.
This article was addressed to the women who were in situations wherein they were experiencing fear and abuse – of which I have received many emails testifying of horrible circumstances. For a woman who has left the message, it unfortunately can amplify the degree of abuse that may have already existed – or it could create a situation where conflict / disagreement intensifies to a dangerous degree. You may be unfamiliar with the way some wives are treated when they express disagreement with the message. I can attest, there are women who have live in daily fear of being abused (physically / emotionally) for simply disagreeing with their husband. Many have written to say that they are not permitted to live with any form of individual freedom, to explore any other form of christian faith or church attendance. Essentially – they are made prisoner to their husband….because she doesn’t believe in the message.
There is NO circumstance where such abuse is justified. And in the instance where a woman feels captive or threatened – I feel strongly that she should not feel bound to remain in a circumstance of harm. I am not speaking of divorce – I am speaking of seeking safety and an ability to live. I would have given the same advice while I was in the message too – if I was aware of true abuse.
I understand what I am saying may not be meaningful to you – but I do know that for those who are experiencing the struggle of leaving the message, these issues are real.
Blessings to you, sister – please be well in your journey!
Hi. Thank you so much James for this particular article. I have read all your past articles and they are all very insightful and helpful. I have been married to a message man for the last 10 years and am very grateful to God that I have freedoms like attending a different church although it does cause tensions from time to time. My husband is a wonderful man and I see how conflicted he is about my attending a denominational church. I agree with you that it is important to look on him with compassion as a man who is trapped and struggling to come to terms with the idea that his wife does not share his religious belief which is the most important thing to him. I have tried to discuss the issue in the message to no avail. I decided to fight the fight on my knees and trust God to do what I am unable to do. Nothing is impossible to Him. It is difficult as I have children to consider as my husband insisted on taking them to church with him but again I am thankful that I am now in a position (because of Bible Study) to understand what they are being taught and to correct gently without putting their father in a bad light. It requires a lot of wisdom which calls for a lot of prayer. Thanks again for sharing your thoughts and I pray for strength that you may continue in your pursuit of helping people. God bless!
Most of all, I want to say how much I appreciate the tone and words you spoke in regards to your husband. I think that is the balm required to keep hearts soft and allow for the best possible outcomes. One only needs to realize that antagonizing behaviours and actions only produces further tension and friction. It doesn’t mean that difficult and genuine conversations aren’t possible – but it shows that you care and mean no harm or disrespect.
Keep praying and keep loving – and I trust that the future will reveal more opportunities to discuss the issues.
Thank you for the very kind feedback, and wonderful wishes to you and your family,
i was greatly touched by your testimony.
your Christlike behavior is a treasure. i do not know how your particular situation will work out, but you love Jesus Christ and that is what is important.
Keep speaking the truth. Women need to pray for wisdom and courage. Get help / godly counseling as soon as the problems start. Too many wait,have children, and then it’s even more difficult.The casualties; one beat thru two pregnancies, one escaped death but barely, and one in the grave. All message marriages.
I am literally dumbstruck with what I read. I was born and raised in a Message family. As a traveller I have a been to many countries and many tabernacles though I am certain that there is an absolute difference between what is and what is true. We as boys even into adulthood have been taught by our parents, preachers how to love, honour, respect and treasure women as wives. That is not something for debate for it is Thus Saith the Lord. The greatest thing God has given man out of Salvation is a Good Wife; to love, lead, care for, provide and companionship AND this is redundant throughout brother Branham’s sermons.
I partook in an online meeting concerning the positioning of women in a home and society and laws. I made it transparently clear that men use the right texts for wrong biddings. Simply because slavers used the Bible to colonize Africans does not make the make the Bible false to all Africans. The Bible teaches us that the women are the weaker vessel yet in no way does it mean that they should be exposed to any sort of abuse much like a baby, that is, literally a weak vessel. An entire family vows to protect, care, nurish, provide for it (that’s probably why a husband would refer to his wife as baby). Husbands by nature are supposed to do the same for their wives especially Message Husbands.
In my society most denominational and heaven girls seek Message Men because they are known to be good, honest and loving husbands due to being God fearing men.
Brother Branham was redundant in Paul’s words; husband love your wife as Christ loved the Church. That’s more than enough… There will never be an example that can to that. Can you imagine what Christ went through for His love, the Church and we Message husbands should type that.
Growing up as a message believer I have seen the clear line of what the word says and what make believers do. Do not crucify the Message for make believers, Christ is perfect, the Message perfect… We by God’s Absolute Mercy seek to honour that.
These individuals may read what we read, they may look like us, speak like us, walk like us BUT trust me only the fruits of their lives separates us from them.
The Message has perfectly poditioned women. Our sisters even the heavens are to be respected. Brother Branham said and the Bible confirms that God can never listen to a husband who has disheartened his wife. Woman was not taken from man’s head so that she could be above him nor from his feet that she could be under him but from the side next to his heart. So that she will always be loved, “Equal” , to him. That was a part of God’s Redemption Plan. That God as Jesus could restore. What was woman’s position to man in the beginning? Co Equal, thus saith the Lord. Please do not interpret the word to fit your weaknesses.
Now, after the BLOOD, man and wife are equal and that’s due to the restoration plan. Bone of my bone and flash of my flash. Brother Branham even goes further by stating that God took a portion, the most delicate portion of Adam’s soul which was Eve. So it’s not blasphemy to say soul of my soul.
Any man that can consciously abuse his wife, message husband or not. Any man who can directly abuse his wife is the lowest life organism to exist. That’s lower than the flee that feeds on bacteria.
Brother Branham made it clear concerning headship. If your wife disrespects you, evaluate yourself and see how you have been disrespecting Christ, once you have sorted that out… What you want from your wife is done automatically.
Sarah called her husband, my lord… Has any man apart from me ever asked. What did Abraham do? Because his must have done something right and constant to get that respect. Respect is earned and that even from your wife. Husband first love your wife, the respect will come.
Making up laws in the house… You will have a nervous breakdown, your wife will have a nervous breakdown… Just fall in love… That’s what Branham taught us. Message men/ husbands take care, treasure, honour, support, uplift, motivate, mother, father, sister and brother their wives these are teachings I was taught growing up in the Message so forgive me for appearing radical but the men mentioned of doing such gastardly acts may move among us but are not one of us.
Adam loved Eve more the the Word so man fell. Ahab was already a make believer that’s why he married likewise. BUT what about Christ? That’s our paradigm as Message believers. The Message is not law… It will never be law because Christ is not law. Jesus is love and so is the Message.
I cannot say I know how these sisters feel because I am a man. I have a mother and four sisters, I can only sympathize. BUT as to undermine the Word of God simply because of a band of cowardly hypocrites is ridiculous. Will you falsely accuse the disciples simply because Judas sold Jesus ?
Greetings, and thank you for your contribution. I can appreciate that the perspective you are writing from is that of a Message Believer. Your writing, however, did not address what I was writing about. It merely gave a glowing report of what the message has provided for understanding marriage and defended that it has perfectly positioned men/women. I would applaud and commend any man who does indeed treat his partner with love and respect. To your point, I can honestly say the majority of men I knew in the message were good, and did their best to treat their wives well. I have no quarrel with that. I also knew many men who treated their wives terribly; but again, that isn’t the issue I was raising.
The specific circumstance which I was addressing is that of a wife who openly faces and questions the possibility that “the message” and William Branham are not (absolute) truth. There is a dire consequence to this where her situation becomes extraordinarily difficult. The reasons are not difficult to see, and I was helping explain how/why it happens and why message women are particularly vulnerable to abuse. Given that I have received email and talked to dozens upon dozens of women who are facing angry, abusive behavior from their husband for the crime of questioning the message, it’s a worthy subject for me to address.
If a wife has the audacity to sincerely question the truth of the message, should she be treated like a dog? If she should conclude that the message is false, should be threatened with vile words, with threats and acts of physical violence, with abject neglect? This does happen and it has happened to many, many women. This isn’t a situation where glowing admonishment about how men should treasure their wives; this is about a real situation and sheer survival. There’s a point where a decision needs to be made that is both practical and tangible. If you are concerned about this and want to address this subject, then your writing would be better to admonish how these men could better act to cope within the situation so the wife doesn’t need to run for fear of her well-being. How should a good message husband act towards an unbelieving wife?
While I do not advocate for divorce, my contention is this; it is a horrible prospect to live married to someone who threatens your life, security and sanity – and it us unacceptable. Rather than be bound to years of abusive marriage in this situation, I absolutely, 100% advocate for choosing safety and well-being as a course of action. If it means separation – so be it. It would be better for both than to live within such caustic conditions. You can accuse me of being ridiculous for undermining the word of god. I just happen to think lofty speeches about ‘what should be’ does little to help – and sometimes, speaking honestly and acting with common sense is more prudent.
Thank you for taking the time to write,
Hallo James. I am. 65 yrs young. Married to one off them for nearly 6 years. What a mistake. He is 72 now. Giving me a hard time. He even tell me that I do not have the Holy Spirit. He have no income at all dit not provide for old age time. I got a small pension but he got nothing for petrol rates and taxes and sot on hos behind doing nothing in rhe house. I hate every moment in this situation.
I joined the message church for six months because the man to marry requested but after realising the belief system and attitudes towards women I stopped attending church. My man really loves and wants to marry me but he is so confused that am no longer going to hus church as I now attend denominational church. We love each other to bits! At church our relationship is condemned.
Hi folks, I am a devout Baptist, and I am in a relationship with a Woman who is a message believer.we have intent to get married but she is insisting that I accept her (End time message belief ) before we get married. I as a baptist am being used to minister through Sunday School (Adults), Church Planting ministry, Bible Study and Prayer meeting ministries, Please advise how stressful and traumatic it would be if both husband and wife have different set of beliefs / doctrines / denominations! Message believers claim that they are not affiliated or associated with any denomination or doctrine but indeed they are!
Hello Joeseph, and thank you for writing. I can see you are in a difficult situation, and I appreciate the concern you have in writing.
That is in fact a difficult question to answer. I think such situations can differ on the basis of the individuals in the relationship – there are many levels of questions/considerations that one might need to explore. I am a believer that genuine love can compensate for a great many differences in a couple – and differences themselves don’t need to be a problem. However – when it comes to religious practice, I think there’s an extra degree of complication. And in this instance, given the contrast between the Baptist church/teachings and the Message church/teachings… the differences are quite significant.
The message is ABSOLUTELY a denomination, by the very definition of it. They have a saying that claims that they have no law but love…no creed but Christ, and no book but the Bible. It is a beautiful sentiment – if it were true. Their churches are rife with rules and laws – to the extent they have books of acceptable ‘church order & conduct’ that help guide what is and is not acceptable behavior. They claim no creed but Christ – but have sets of doctrines/teaching that are unique, “spiritually hidden” from the eyes of unbelievers, and baffling to anyone outside it’s walls. They say they have no book but the Bible – but they collect, listen to, print and distribute the sermons of William Branham as though it were above the Bible itself. So yes… you are exactly right when you say they are the very definitition of the thing they say they are not; they are an organized system of churches that are enclosed, separated, exclusive under the banner of “The Message of the Hour”.
On that basis – there is a significant possibility that you will encounter great struggle. I think it would depend on you and her personally. How devoted are you to the path you are on? If you are both individually strongly set – consider the differences. How much you are willing to love, care and connect with each other with grace and longsuffering within the differences? I would ask, how have you experienced spiritual fellowship together? Is there harmony, absolutely communion, safety and a freedom to share and exchange spiritual thoughts/opinion? Do you go to church together? What do you feel when you listen to the preaching of William Branham? How will you raised your children to believe? Will you be able to navigate the ‘laws’ of the message in your home without creating conflict/disapproval? If you feel like there is a struggle now… I think it will continue, and possibly become worse.
I have known couples who had different opinions – one believing the message and the other not – but they had love and respect. And with that – they managed. I have know couples in the same situation – and they were miserable. If I were in your position – I would take the following approach. If you really care for the best interests in the other… then looking past the good feelings you have so that you can have an brutally honest conversation about what the future will be if you are in spiritual disagreement is crucial. For how much it might hurt to talk about it – it will be much better than years, and years of living together while feeling tore apart. Sometimes the best thing love can do…is to let go.
I would never insist upon breaking up a couple, especially when I can only comment from afar. But you both deserve a hard, honest conversation. And from that – you’ll better know what you must do. I wish you wonderful blessings, and that you both can find the path that is both good and right.
I believe in marriage, disagreement are always there, But if it reaches to the level of abusing one physical, spiritually or mentally, there is need to search for help. help may come from our parents, pastors. even from counselors.
Came across your webpage. I wanted to share a few things Bro. Branham himself taught. Then you can tell me for yourself whether the problem is in what he taught or the problem is the people who CLAIM to believe what he taught.
Questions and Answers 64-0830M
330. Brother Branham, how am I supposed to show my wife that I really care for her and yet play…or stay with the Word (That’s)—stay—stay with the Word, but still having a question like this said: “Why don’t you practice what you preach or believe?”
114 Well then, if the wife, if the wife is saying this to you when she’s…has a right to say it, you better get right. See, see? Then if she—if she is saying it just to be evil, remember, the Bible said, “It was better that a millstone was hanged at your neck and drowned in the depths of the sea than even to offend the least of these, my
little ones.” Now, that’s just your…?…
115 And may be that this wife is not that type of person. Maybe she’s a different. Maybe she’s a good person. Maybe she’s just testing you to see what you’ll do.
116 Now, stay in love with her and let her see Jesus in you. You do that. See? You just go on. Some…I give a little illustration this morning about a person that…One time this little woman had—had received the Holy Ghost. She was a very sweet little person. They…She said…Well, she’d had a hard life, and her husband was an alcoholic. And so, she just kept on; she bore with him. He says, “You want to go to church, Honey, take off!” But
now, he went down to the saloon, down at the old Brown Derby, down here. Going on. So they hung out down there all the time,
used to be Bonifers. Many of you old-timers here remember when Bonifer had there on the corner of…It’s called Brown Derby now, I believe it is.
117 So, hanging around down there, and the first thing you know, one night come up a question about church and about Christians.
One of the old drunks setting there said, “There ain’t no such a thing as Christians anymore. And there is no such a thing. All
this bunch of hypocrites,” said, “you see them out here smoking, drinking, doing the same thing that we do, and,” said, “call
themselves Christians. There is no such.”
118 This one drunk raised up and said, “Just a minute! There’s one that I know about.”
Said, “Who is it?”
Said, “It’s my wife.” See? She’d become salty. He was catching it all the time.
He said, “I bet if she was put to a squeeze…”
He said, “No, she’s still a Christian; I’ll prove it to you.”
Said, “I tell you what let’s do; let’s go up home, and I’ll show you whether she’s a Christian or not.” Said, “Let’s go up home, and now, let’s really be drunk. We’re going to act like we’re really drunk.” Knocked at the door, come in staggering over everything and—and…“Why the chair setting around this way?”
and everything. And she set them all a chair and (his guests, you know)—and tried to make them just as welcome as could be. Said, “I want you to fix us some supper.” And so they…She went out and fixed some. Said, “We want ham and eggs.” He knowed
they had it, so they fixed the ham and eggs. When he got there at the table, he looked at them like that, picked up his plate, and slammed the stuff on the floor, said, “You know, I don’t like my eggs like that. Come on boys let’s get out of here anyhow,” like that—like that.
119 They went out and set down like that, you know. And she come out; she said, “Dear, I’m—I’m sorry I didn’t get them fixed; I’ll fix some more for you.”
120 “Oh, nonsense, you knowed I didn’t want them that way in the first place,” just carrying on like that. They went out there, and set down, and act like they was drunk. They heard her in there kind of snubbing to herself, singing real low voice:
Must Jesus bear the cross alone, And all the world go free? There’s a cross for every one, And there’s a cross for me.
This consecrated cross I’ll bear, Till death shall set me free.
One drunk looked at the other one, said, “She’s a Christian; she’s got it!” And that little woman led her husband, plus these others to Christ that night. See? Why? See? Just be real sweet. Just remember, He knows all about it.
121 So, sister, or brother, whoever it might be, or brother, it is here,
’cause he asked about his wife, you just be salty; she’ll get thirsty if there’s anything in her to thirst for. If it isn’t, remember, if you got the wrong person, you’ll get the right one in the Millennium.
You just keep on going; all wrongs will be made right there.
344. My husband and I don’t see alike on the Bible, the Truths,
like this Truth that you preach. He doesn’t understand.
Should I go with him to churches when I don’t believe their
teaching? I’m very troubled about this.
190 Yes! If you are a wife to this husband, and he don’t condemn
you, you don’t—you mustn’t condemn him (see?), because the
husband is sanctified by the wife. See? And I believe, if he goes
to some denominational church or something like that, he wants
you to go down there with him…You see? If you don’t be…
See, there’s nothing there can harm you, ’cause you’re not going
to listen to what they’re saying anyhow, ’cause you done said here
you don’t believe their preaching. See? So it ain’t going to harm
you, but you’re just showing respects to your husband. You’re
yielding yourself to him, and maybe in doing so, you—you’ll…If
they teach and do the things down there…You’re taught much
higher things than that; you’ll be salty; he’ll see and come to the
Lord. I believe I would go ahead. My goodness, look here what
time it is!
You just be a husband; be a sweetheart. Respect her like you always respect her. Don’t
any attention to these, some of these non-…sexy books, or these
nonsense in this sexy books, and things that you read about, and
all of this stuff, and everything like that. Get that filthy stuff out
of your mind.
307 The Bible said not let one dirty conversation come among you
when you profess holiness. Treat that little lady like she’s your
little sweetheart. If she’s sixty years old, you be just the same. You
be that gallant boyfriend; remember, you are.
You don’t try none of these new things, and I know what
I’m talking…And you just be a husband, a genuine brother, a
I know that sounds…But the…You’re my kids. I got a
right to say what I want to to you. You see? You’re my kids; you
308 And you women, live the right way to your husband. And you
husbands, live the right to you…to—to—to your wives. Be real,
real nice and respect one another just with…And your—your
family relations and so forth like that, let it be just as reverently,
and godly, and agreed-with among you and everything as it can be.
Don’t never push, and shove, and—and be dirty and vulgar.
309 Understand, talk to your wife. If—if one nature is to you and
another nature to her, talk it with her. You—you try to do the
same thing to him, sister. And the same way…Understand one
another and be—be real Christian gentleman and real Christian
ladies, and—and brother and sister with one another. Always
remember, you’re God’s children, and you’re from a Royal
Family. You’re a royal blood; there’s no better blood in the world
than yours. And that’s right! And a royal blood shows itself. That’s
what it is, it’s royal. All believe that say, “Amen!” [Congregation
replies “Amen!”—Ed.] Yes, sir! Show what you are. I’m a…I’m
the…I’m a son of a King, I’m the son of the King. My wife’s
a daughter of a King. How would I treat that King’s daughter?
How would she treat that King’s son? See what I mean? Be real
Hi Joel, and thank you for the message! I appreciate the intention of your words. It seems you might be concerned that certain men in the message aren’t applying those quotes appropriately. You should take them to your ministers and pastors – and remind them they need to do a better job instructing husbands how to treat their unbelieving wives.
As a former message minister, I am very familiar with these quotes, as I used several of them in sermons. Within the message, these quotes do attempt to teach how to handle delicate situations with unbelievers. In the very least, I agree; it would be fantastic if these quotes were applied in circumstances where a wife had determined she no longer believed the message. That’s the best case scenario, that a husband would conduct himself peaceably. Unfortunately, there is a duplicity to the message, and I could also use quotes to present a very different picture of why men feel entitled to act horribly. As per my article, I would suggest more often then not, a wife in this situation is not treated well (to say the least).
Again – your quotes are for message believers. I recommend not showing me, but rather, take them to your ministers or share them with your brothers. Meanwhile, this article is written for wives with husbands who aren’t applying your quotes, and are facing situations of abuse. A wife should be able to consider a route to save herself from a horrible life.
Thank you again for writing, and best regards,
We cannot judge the Message wrong because “followers” are not applying what is said. To follow means you follow. Bro James it would be great if you found error in Bro Branhams direct words, but rather you share your opinions on the church political system. I think you’ve been hurt by the “message” structure. If so put your views where it belongs, don’t lay it at our prophet.
Hi there, Joseph – I appreciate the perspective and the time you took to read and comment.
You bring up a point that is frequently made about those who’ve left; the notion that we speak only from a place of personal harm. And it’s a fair point of discussion. I do think there are many who have done just that.
From my experience both inside and, now, outside the message – I think there is a widely varying degree between those who are deeply intimate with the teaching and doctrine… and those who are not. I think many of the people who left the message were less swayed by the doctrinal/teaching aspects because they were never very intimate with it. But many of those people could legitimately speak of harm they received by the ‘system’ you speak of. They need not care about the doctrinal error when they were abused – and I don’t blame those from looking to escape. However, there were many who left who care deeply for the meaning, teaching, and life promised within the Message. I was one of those. So to suggest I left merely because I was disappointed with the “political system”, is dismissive.
I spent endless hours examining the words of William Branham so that I could preach it… and likewise, I spent endless hours trying to reconcile the concerning issues (that my integrity found indefensible). William Branham was not honest – and if you would like to see the countless times and ways in which he clearly and directly manipulated his words to deceive – that information is widely available.
On my homepage, it reads that the purpose of this website “is to help those who are leaving to understand why the process of walking away is so traumatic. The benefit of “understanding” and gaining a healthy perspective will be part of healing and moving forward.” In otherwords, this article – and the all the articles of this website are not written for you, a believer and follower of William Branham (though you are welcome to read and criticize). This is for the people who have made a decision to leave – and who now experience the human traumatic loss of identity, trust, community, family, and the like.
Again, I appreciate the comment – I understand your viewpoint, as I once shared the same perspective.