Married to a Message Man: What Should I Do?

James Rozak

Creator of Morning Mercy & Former Message Associate Pastor.

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17 Responses

  1. Ann says:

    The True God-The Lord Jesus Christ – chose a vessel to bring His Message to this Endtime generation- Bro William Marrion Branham-a very humble person. This Message is in Agreement to the Bible-100%. It talks to those God wills them to see-understand. In marriage, such couples are living nobly, even kingly-the Husband treating His queen/wife lovingly- they agree because the Message places each in their position in marriage. What the People need is the Holy Ghost to live True Christian lives- the Principles echoed in The Message. May this site not mislead any daughter of God- happily none shall be. I would that the owner of this site seeks God on His knees for Divine revelation of Who Bro Branham is , How God prepared him for His use in our or this end of time,and be a firm follower not critic- one cannot fight God in His work long. Time is drawing near for a show down-don’t get closed out of Grace Period deceived to leave the message- The Message is in The Bible- our portion at this end of time. Be blessed with Revelation of Truth. This response had to come to this site today for the same of God’s elect-Sons and Daughters.

  2. James Rozak says:

    Dear Ann,

    Thank you for your comment; I appreciate the good intention you have written with.

    Whether or not a person is a follower of the Message, the ideal marriage relationship should be just as you describe wherein the husband treats his wife lovingly. That is an aspiration should be shared between anyone who would enter into a marriage. I have witnessed loving marriages of this type both inside and outside the message – and for that, I am happy when a man and woman learn to live together in love and harmony. However, we often see a void/lack of love – even to the extent of abuse. And although it’s something that one would not want to accept, it also happens in marriages within message circles. Unfortunately as a former message minister, I saw firsthand how ugly it could be given the power a man held over his wife.

    This article was addressed to the women who were in situations wherein they were experiencing fear and abuse – of which I have received many emails testifying of horrible circumstances. For a woman who has left the message, it unfortunately can amplify the degree of abuse that may have already existed – or it could create a situation where conflict / disagreement intensifies to a dangerous degree. You may be unfamiliar with the way some wives are treated when they express disagreement with the message. I can attest, there are women who have live in daily fear of being abused (physically / emotionally) for simply disagreeing with their husband. Many have written to say that they are not permitted to live with any form of individual freedom, to explore any other form of christian faith or church attendance. Essentially – they are made prisoner to their husband….because she doesn’t believe in the message.

    There is NO circumstance where such abuse is justified. And in the instance where a woman feels captive or threatened – I feel strongly that she should not feel bound to remain in a circumstance of harm. I am not speaking of divorce – I am speaking of seeking safety and an ability to live. I would have given the same advice while I was in the message too – if I was aware of true abuse.

    I understand what I am saying may not be meaningful to you – but I do know that for those who are experiencing the struggle of leaving the message, these issues are real.

    Blessings to you, sister – please be well in your journey!

  3. Pauline says:

    Hi. Thank you so much James for this particular article. I have read all your past articles and they are all very insightful and helpful. I have been married to a message man for the last 10 years and am very grateful to God that I have freedoms like attending a different church although it does cause tensions from time to time. My husband is a wonderful man and I see how conflicted he is about my attending a denominational church. I agree with you that it is important to look on him with compassion as a man who is trapped and struggling to come to terms with the idea that his wife does not share his religious belief which is the most important thing to him. I have tried to discuss the issue in the message to no avail. I decided to fight the fight on my knees and trust God to do what I am unable to do. Nothing is impossible to Him. It is difficult as I have children to consider as my husband insisted on taking them to church with him but again I am thankful that I am now in a position (because of Bible Study) to understand what they are being taught and to correct gently without putting their father in a bad light. It requires a lot of wisdom which calls for a lot of prayer. Thanks again for sharing your thoughts and I pray for strength that you may continue in your pursuit of helping people. God bless!

  4. James Rozak says:

    Dear Pauline,

    Most of all, I want to say how much I appreciate the tone and words you spoke in regards to your husband. I think that is the balm required to keep hearts soft and allow for the best possible outcomes. One only needs to realize that antagonizing behaviours and actions only produces further tension and friction. It doesn’t mean that difficult and genuine conversations aren’t possible – but it shows that you care and mean no harm or disrespect.

    Keep praying and keep loving – and I trust that the future will reveal more opportunities to discuss the issues.

    Thank you for the very kind feedback, and wonderful wishes to you and your family,

  5. rocco b rubino says:

    dear pauline;

    i was greatly touched by your testimony.

    your Christlike behavior is a treasure. i do not know how your particular situation will work out, but you love Jesus Christ and that is what is important.

  6. Keep speaking the truth. Women need to pray for wisdom and courage. Get help / godly counseling as soon as the problems start. Too many wait,have children, and then it’s even more difficult.The casualties; one beat thru two pregnancies, one escaped death but barely, and one in the grave. All message marriages.

  7. Ntinu Mpindi says:

    I am literally dumbstruck with what I read. I was born and raised in a Message family. As a traveller I have a been to many countries and many tabernacles though I am certain that there is an absolute difference between what is and what is true. We as boys even into adulthood have been taught by our parents, preachers how to love, honour, respect and treasure women as wives. That is not something for debate for it is Thus Saith the Lord. The greatest thing God has given man out of Salvation is a Good Wife; to love, lead, care for, provide and companionship AND this is redundant throughout brother Branham’s sermons.

    I partook in an online meeting concerning the positioning of women in a home and society and laws. I made it transparently clear that men use the right texts for wrong biddings. Simply because slavers used the Bible to colonize Africans does not make the make the Bible false to all Africans. The Bible teaches us that the women are the weaker vessel yet in no way does it mean that they should be exposed to any sort of abuse much like a baby, that is, literally a weak vessel. An entire family vows to protect, care, nurish, provide for it (that’s probably why a husband would refer to his wife as baby). Husbands by nature are supposed to do the same for their wives especially Message Husbands.

    In my society most denominational and heaven girls seek Message Men because they are known to be good, honest and loving husbands due to being God fearing men.

    Brother Branham was redundant in Paul’s words; husband love your wife as Christ loved the Church. That’s more than enough… There will never be an example that can to that. Can you imagine what Christ went through for His love, the Church and we Message husbands should type that.

    Growing up as a message believer I have seen the clear line of what the word says and what make believers do. Do not crucify the Message for make believers, Christ is perfect, the Message perfect… We by God’s Absolute Mercy seek to honour that.

    These individuals may read what we read, they may look like us, speak like us, walk like us BUT trust me only the fruits of their lives separates us from them.

    The Message has perfectly poditioned women. Our sisters even the heavens are to be respected. Brother Branham said and the Bible confirms that God can never listen to a husband who has disheartened his wife. Woman was not taken from man’s head so that she could be above him nor from his feet that she could be under him but from the side next to his heart. So that she will always be loved, “Equal” , to him. That was a part of God’s Redemption Plan. That God as Jesus could restore. What was woman’s position to man in the beginning? Co Equal, thus saith the Lord. Please do not interpret the word to fit your weaknesses.

    Now, after the BLOOD, man and wife are equal and that’s due to the restoration plan. Bone of my bone and flash of my flash. Brother Branham even goes further by stating that God took a portion, the most delicate portion of Adam’s soul which was Eve. So it’s not blasphemy to say soul of my soul.

    Any man that can consciously abuse his wife, message husband or not. Any man who can directly abuse his wife is the lowest life organism to exist. That’s lower than the flee that feeds on bacteria.

    Brother Branham made it clear concerning headship. If your wife disrespects you, evaluate yourself and see how you have been disrespecting Christ, once you have sorted that out… What you want from your wife is done automatically.
    Sarah called her husband, my lord… Has any man apart from me ever asked. What did Abraham do? Because his must have done something right and constant to get that respect. Respect is earned and that even from your wife. Husband first love your wife, the respect will come.

    Making up laws in the house… You will have a nervous breakdown, your wife will have a nervous breakdown… Just fall in love… That’s what Branham taught us. Message men/ husbands take care, treasure, honour, support, uplift, motivate, mother, father, sister and brother their wives these are teachings I was taught growing up in the Message so forgive me for appearing radical but the men mentioned of doing such gastardly acts may move among us but are not one of us.

    Adam loved Eve more the the Word so man fell. Ahab was already a make believer that’s why he married likewise. BUT what about Christ? That’s our paradigm as Message believers. The Message is not law… It will never be law because Christ is not law. Jesus is love and so is the Message.

    I cannot say I know how these sisters feel because I am a man. I have a mother and four sisters, I can only sympathize. BUT as to undermine the Word of God simply because of a band of cowardly hypocrites is ridiculous. Will you falsely accuse the disciples simply because Judas sold Jesus ?

  8. James Rozak says:

    Greetings, and thank you for your contribution. I can appreciate that the perspective you are writing from is that of a Message Believer. Your writing, however, did not address what I was writing about. It merely gave a glowing report of what the message has provided for understanding marriage and defended that it has perfectly positioned men/women. I would applaud and commend any man who does indeed treat his partner with love and respect. To your point, I can honestly say the majority of men I knew in the message were good, and did their best to treat their wives well. I have no quarrel with that. I also knew many men who treated their wives terribly; but again, that isn’t the issue I was raising.

    The specific circumstance which I was addressing is that of a wife who openly faces and questions the possibility that “the message” and William Branham are not (absolute) truth. There is a dire consequence to this where her situation becomes extraordinarily difficult. The reasons are not difficult to see, and I was helping explain how/why it happens and why message women are particularly vulnerable to abuse. Given that I have received email and talked to dozens upon dozens of women who are facing angry, abusive behavior from their husband for the crime of questioning the message, it’s a worthy subject for me to address.

    If a wife has the audacity to sincerely question the truth of the message, should she be treated like a dog? If she should conclude that the message is false, should be threatened with vile words, with threats and acts of physical violence, with abject neglect? This does happen and it has happened to many, many women. This isn’t a situation where glowing admonishment about how men should treasure their wives; this is about a real situation and sheer survival. There’s a point where a decision needs to be made that is both practical and tangible. If you are concerned about this and want to address this subject, then your writing would be better to admonish how these men could better act to cope within the situation so the wife doesn’t need to run for fear of her well-being. How should a good message husband act towards an unbelieving wife?

    While I do not advocate for divorce, my contention is this; it is a horrible prospect to live married to someone who threatens your life, security and sanity – and it us unacceptable. Rather than be bound to years of abusive marriage in this situation, I absolutely, 100% advocate for choosing safety and well-being as a course of action. If it means separation – so be it. It would be better for both than to live within such caustic conditions. You can accuse me of being ridiculous for undermining the word of god. I just happen to think lofty speeches about ‘what should be’ does little to help – and sometimes, speaking honestly and acting with common sense is more prudent.

    Thank you for taking the time to write,
    James Rozak

  9. Alta Allchin says:

    Hallo James. I am. 65 yrs young. Married to one off them for nearly 6 years. What a mistake. He is 72 now. Giving me a hard time. He even tell me that I do not have the Holy Spirit. He have no income at all dit not provide for old age time. I got a small pension but he got nothing for petrol rates and taxes and sot on hos behind doing nothing in rhe house. I hate every moment in this situation.

  10. I joined the message church for six months because the man to marry requested but after realising the belief system and attitudes towards women I stopped attending church. My man really loves and wants to marry me but he is so confused that am no longer going to hus church as I now attend denominational church. We love each other to bits! At church our relationship is condemned.

  11. Joeseph says:

    Hi folks, I am a devout Baptist, and I am in a relationship with a Woman who is a message believer.we have intent to get married but she is insisting that I accept her (End time message belief ) before we get married. I as a baptist am being used to minister through Sunday School (Adults), Church Planting ministry, Bible Study and Prayer meeting ministries, Please advise how stressful and traumatic it would be if both husband and wife have different set of beliefs / doctrines / denominations! Message believers claim that they are not affiliated or associated with any denomination or doctrine but indeed they are!

  12. James Rozak says:

    Hello Joeseph, and thank you for writing. I can see you are in a difficult situation, and I appreciate the concern you have in writing.
    That is in fact a difficult question to answer. I think such situations can differ on the basis of the individuals in the relationship – there are many levels of questions/considerations that one might need to explore. I am a believer that genuine love can compensate for a great many differences in a couple – and differences themselves don’t need to be a problem. However – when it comes to religious practice, I think there’s an extra degree of complication. And in this instance, given the contrast between the Baptist church/teachings and the Message church/teachings… the differences are quite significant.

    The message is ABSOLUTELY a denomination, by the very definition of it. They have a saying that claims that they have no law but love…no creed but Christ, and no book but the Bible. It is a beautiful sentiment – if it were true. Their churches are rife with rules and laws – to the extent they have books of acceptable ‘church order & conduct’ that help guide what is and is not acceptable behavior. They claim no creed but Christ – but have sets of doctrines/teaching that are unique, “spiritually hidden” from the eyes of unbelievers, and baffling to anyone outside it’s walls. They say they have no book but the Bible – but they collect, listen to, print and distribute the sermons of William Branham as though it were above the Bible itself. So yes… you are exactly right when you say they are the very definitition of the thing they say they are not; they are an organized system of churches that are enclosed, separated, exclusive under the banner of “The Message of the Hour”.

    On that basis – there is a significant possibility that you will encounter great struggle. I think it would depend on you and her personally. How devoted are you to the path you are on? If you are both individually strongly set – consider the differences. How much you are willing to love, care and connect with each other with grace and longsuffering within the differences? I would ask, how have you experienced spiritual fellowship together? Is there harmony, absolutely communion, safety and a freedom to share and exchange spiritual thoughts/opinion? Do you go to church together? What do you feel when you listen to the preaching of William Branham? How will you raised your children to believe? Will you be able to navigate the ‘laws’ of the message in your home without creating conflict/disapproval? If you feel like there is a struggle now… I think it will continue, and possibly become worse.

    I have known couples who had different opinions – one believing the message and the other not – but they had love and respect. And with that – they managed. I have know couples in the same situation – and they were miserable. If I were in your position – I would take the following approach. If you really care for the best interests in the other… then looking past the good feelings you have so that you can have an brutally honest conversation about what the future will be if you are in spiritual disagreement is crucial. For how much it might hurt to talk about it – it will be much better than years, and years of living together while feeling tore apart. Sometimes the best thing love can do…is to let go.

    I would never insist upon breaking up a couple, especially when I can only comment from afar. But you both deserve a hard, honest conversation. And from that – you’ll better know what you must do. I wish you wonderful blessings, and that you both can find the path that is both good and right.

  13. Rose says:

    I believe in marriage, disagreement are always there, But if it reaches to the level of abusing one physical, spiritually or mentally, there is need to search for help. help may come from our parents, pastors. even from counselors.

    Thank you.

  14. Joel Chase says:

    Came across your webpage. I wanted to share a few things Bro. Branham himself taught. Then you can tell me for yourself whether the problem is in what he taught or the problem is the people who CLAIM to believe what he taught.

    Questions and Answers 64-0830M
    330. Brother Branham, how am I supposed to show my wife that I really care for her and yet play…or stay with the Word (That’s)—stay—stay with the Word, but still having a question like this said: “Why don’t you practice what you preach or believe?”
    114 Well then, if the wife, if the wife is saying this to you when she’s…has a right to say it, you better get right. See, see? Then if she—if she is saying it just to be evil, remember, the Bible said, “It was better that a millstone was hanged at your neck and drowned in the depths of the sea than even to offend the least of these, my
    little ones.” Now, that’s just your…?…
    115 And may be that this wife is not that type of person. Maybe she’s a different. Maybe she’s a good person. Maybe she’s just testing you to see what you’ll do.
    116 Now, stay in love with her and let her see Jesus in you. You do that. See? You just go on. Some…I give a little illustration this morning about a person that…One time this little woman had—had received the Holy Ghost. She was a very sweet little person. They…She said…Well, she’d had a hard life, and her husband was an alcoholic. And so, she just kept on; she bore with him. He says, “You want to go to church, Honey, take off!” But
    now, he went down to the saloon, down at the old Brown Derby, down here. Going on. So they hung out down there all the time,
    used to be Bonifers. Many of you old-timers here remember when Bonifer had there on the corner of…It’s called Brown Derby now, I believe it is.
    117 So, hanging around down there, and the first thing you know, one night come up a question about church and about Christians.
    One of the old drunks setting there said, “There ain’t no such a thing as Christians anymore. And there is no such a thing. All
    this bunch of hypocrites,” said, “you see them out here smoking, drinking, doing the same thing that we do, and,” said, “call
    themselves Christians. There is no such.”
    118 This one drunk raised up and said, “Just a minute! There’s one that I know about.”
    Said, “Who is it?”
    Said, “It’s my wife.” See? She’d become salty. He was catching it all the time.
    He said, “I bet if she was put to a squeeze…”
    He said, “No, she’s still a Christian; I’ll prove it to you.”
    Said, “I tell you what let’s do; let’s go up home, and I’ll show you whether she’s a Christian or not.” Said, “Let’s go up home, and now, let’s really be drunk. We’re going to act like we’re really drunk.” Knocked at the door, come in staggering over everything and—and…“Why the chair setting around this way?”
    and everything. And she set them all a chair and (his guests, you know)—and tried to make them just as welcome as could be. Said, “I want you to fix us some supper.” And so they…She went out and fixed some. Said, “We want ham and eggs.” He knowed
    they had it, so they fixed the ham and eggs. When he got there at the table, he looked at them like that, picked up his plate, and slammed the stuff on the floor, said, “You know, I don’t like my eggs like that. Come on boys let’s get out of here anyhow,” like that—like that.
    119 They went out and set down like that, you know. And she come out; she said, “Dear, I’m—I’m sorry I didn’t get them fixed; I’ll fix some more for you.”
    120 “Oh, nonsense, you knowed I didn’t want them that way in the first place,” just carrying on like that. They went out there, and set down, and act like they was drunk. They heard her in there kind of snubbing to herself, singing real low voice:
    Must Jesus bear the cross alone, And all the world go free? There’s a cross for every one, And there’s a cross for me.
    This consecrated cross I’ll bear, Till death shall set me free.
    One drunk looked at the other one, said, “She’s a Christian; she’s got it!” And that little woman led her husband, plus these others to Christ that night. See? Why? See? Just be real sweet. Just remember, He knows all about it.
    121 So, sister, or brother, whoever it might be, or brother, it is here,
    ’cause he asked about his wife, you just be salty; she’ll get thirsty if there’s anything in her to thirst for. If it isn’t, remember, if you got the wrong person, you’ll get the right one in the Millennium.
    You just keep on going; all wrongs will be made right there.

    344. My husband and I don’t see alike on the Bible, the Truths,
    like this Truth that you preach. He doesn’t understand.
    Should I go with him to churches when I don’t believe their
    teaching? I’m very troubled about this.
    190 Yes! If you are a wife to this husband, and he don’t condemn
    you, you don’t—you mustn’t condemn him (see?), because the
    husband is sanctified by the wife. See? And I believe, if he goes
    to some denominational church or something like that, he wants
    you to go down there with him…You see? If you don’t be…
    See, there’s nothing there can harm you, ’cause you’re not going
    to listen to what they’re saying anyhow, ’cause you done said here
    you don’t believe their preaching. See? So it ain’t going to harm
    you, but you’re just showing respects to your husband. You’re
    yielding yourself to him, and maybe in doing so, you—you’ll…If
    they teach and do the things down there…You’re taught much
    higher things than that; you’ll be salty; he’ll see and come to the
    Lord. I believe I would go ahead. My goodness, look here what
    time it is!

    You just be a husband; be a sweetheart. Respect her like you always respect her. Don’t
    any attention to these, some of these non-…sexy books, or these
    nonsense in this sexy books, and things that you read about, and
    all of this stuff, and everything like that. Get that filthy stuff out
    of your mind.
    307 The Bible said not let one dirty conversation come among you
    when you profess holiness. Treat that little lady like she’s your
    little sweetheart. If she’s sixty years old, you be just the same. You
    be that gallant boyfriend; remember, you are.
    You don’t try none of these new things, and I know what
    I’m talking…And you just be a husband, a genuine brother, a
    genuine Christian.
    I know that sounds…But the…You’re my kids. I got a
    right to say what I want to to you. You see? You’re my kids; you
    live right.
    308 And you women, live the right way to your husband. And you
    husbands, live the right to you…to—to—to your wives. Be real,
    real nice and respect one another just with…And your—your
    family relations and so forth like that, let it be just as reverently,
    and godly, and agreed-with among you and everything as it can be.
    Don’t never push, and shove, and—and be dirty and vulgar.
    309 Understand, talk to your wife. If—if one nature is to you and
    another nature to her, talk it with her. You—you try to do the
    same thing to him, sister. And the same way…Understand one
    another and be—be real Christian gentleman and real Christian
    ladies, and—and brother and sister with one another. Always
    remember, you’re God’s children, and you’re from a Royal
    Family. You’re a royal blood; there’s no better blood in the world
    than yours. And that’s right! And a royal blood shows itself. That’s
    what it is, it’s royal. All believe that say, “Amen!” [Congregation
    replies “Amen!”—Ed.] Yes, sir! Show what you are. I’m a…I’m
    the…I’m a son of a King, I’m the son of the King. My wife’s
    a daughter of a King. How would I treat that King’s daughter?
    How would she treat that King’s son? See what I mean? Be real

  15. James Rozak says:

    Hi Joel, and thank you for the message! I appreciate the intention of your words. It seems you might be concerned that certain men in the message aren’t applying those quotes appropriately. You should take them to your ministers and pastors – and remind them they need to do a better job instructing husbands how to treat their unbelieving wives.

    As a former message minister, I am very familiar with these quotes, as I used several of them in sermons. Within the message, these quotes do attempt to teach how to handle delicate situations with unbelievers. In the very least, I agree; it would be fantastic if these quotes were applied in circumstances where a wife had determined she no longer believed the message. That’s the best case scenario, that a husband would conduct himself peaceably. Unfortunately, there is a duplicity to the message, and I could also use quotes to present a very different picture of why men feel entitled to act horribly. As per my article, I would suggest more often then not, a wife in this situation is not treated well (to say the least).

    Again – your quotes are for message believers. I recommend not showing me, but rather, take them to your ministers or share them with your brothers. Meanwhile, this article is written for wives with husbands who aren’t applying your quotes, and are facing situations of abuse. A wife should be able to consider a route to save herself from a horrible life.

    Thank you again for writing, and best regards,

  16. Joseph says:

    We cannot judge the Message wrong because “followers” are not applying what is said. To follow means you follow. Bro James it would be great if you found error in Bro Branhams direct words, but rather you share your opinions on the church political system. I think you’ve been hurt by the “message” structure. If so put your views where it belongs, don’t lay it at our prophet.

  17. James Rozak says:

    Hi there, Joseph – I appreciate the perspective and the time you took to read and comment.

    You bring up a point that is frequently made about those who’ve left; the notion that we speak only from a place of personal harm. And it’s a fair point of discussion. I do think there are many who have done just that.

    From my experience both inside and, now, outside the message – I think there is a widely varying degree between those who are deeply intimate with the teaching and doctrine… and those who are not. I think many of the people who left the message were less swayed by the doctrinal/teaching aspects because they were never very intimate with it. But many of those people could legitimately speak of harm they received by the ‘system’ you speak of. They need not care about the doctrinal error when they were abused – and I don’t blame those from looking to escape. However, there were many who left who care deeply for the meaning, teaching, and life promised within the Message. I was one of those. So to suggest I left merely because I was disappointed with the “political system”, is dismissive.

    I spent endless hours examining the words of William Branham so that I could preach it… and likewise, I spent endless hours trying to reconcile the concerning issues (that my integrity found indefensible). William Branham was not honest – and if you would like to see the countless times and ways in which he clearly and directly manipulated his words to deceive – that information is widely available.

    On my homepage, it reads that the purpose of this website “is to help those who are leaving to understand why the process of walking away is so traumatic. The benefit of “understanding” and gaining a healthy perspective will be part of healing and moving forward.” In otherwords, this article – and the all the articles of this website are not written for you, a believer and follower of William Branham (though you are welcome to read and criticize). This is for the people who have made a decision to leave – and who now experience the human traumatic loss of identity, trust, community, family, and the like.

    Again, I appreciate the comment – I understand your viewpoint, as I once shared the same perspective.

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