Married to a Message Man: What Should I Do?

James Rozak

Creator of Morning Mercy & Former Message Associate Pastor.

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12 Responses

  1. Ann says:

    The True God-The Lord Jesus Christ – chose a vessel to bring His Message to this Endtime generation- Bro William Marrion Branham-a very humble person. This Message is in Agreement to the Bible-100%. It talks to those God wills them to see-understand. In marriage, such couples are living nobly, even kingly-the Husband treating His queen/wife lovingly- they agree because the Message places each in their position in marriage. What the People need is the Holy Ghost to live True Christian lives- the Principles echoed in The Message. May this site not mislead any daughter of God- happily none shall be. I would that the owner of this site seeks God on His knees for Divine revelation of Who Bro Branham is , How God prepared him for His use in our or this end of time,and be a firm follower not critic- one cannot fight God in His work long. Time is drawing near for a show down-don’t get closed out of Grace Period deceived to leave the message- The Message is in The Bible- our portion at this end of time. Be blessed with Revelation of Truth. This response had to come to this site today for the same of God’s elect-Sons and Daughters.

  2. James Rozak says:

    Dear Ann,

    Thank you for your comment; I appreciate the good intention you have written with.

    Whether or not a person is a follower of the Message, the ideal marriage relationship should be just as you describe wherein the husband treats his wife lovingly. That is an aspiration should be shared between anyone who would enter into a marriage. I have witnessed loving marriages of this type both inside and outside the message – and for that, I am happy when a man and woman learn to live together in love and harmony. However, we often see a void/lack of love – even to the extent of abuse. And although it’s something that one would not want to accept, it also happens in marriages within message circles. Unfortunately as a former message minister, I saw firsthand how ugly it could be given the power a man held over his wife.

    This article was addressed to the women who were in situations wherein they were experiencing fear and abuse – of which I have received many emails testifying of horrible circumstances. For a woman who has left the message, it unfortunately can amplify the degree of abuse that may have already existed – or it could create a situation where conflict / disagreement intensifies to a dangerous degree. You may be unfamiliar with the way some wives are treated when they express disagreement with the message. I can attest, there are women who have live in daily fear of being abused (physically / emotionally) for simply disagreeing with their husband. Many have written to say that they are not permitted to live with any form of individual freedom, to explore any other form of christian faith or church attendance. Essentially – they are made prisoner to their husband….because she doesn’t believe in the message.

    There is NO circumstance where such abuse is justified. And in the instance where a woman feels captive or threatened – I feel strongly that she should not feel bound to remain in a circumstance of harm. I am not speaking of divorce – I am speaking of seeking safety and an ability to live. I would have given the same advice while I was in the message too – if I was aware of true abuse.

    I understand what I am saying may not be meaningful to you – but I do know that for those who are experiencing the struggle of leaving the message, these issues are real.

    Blessings to you, sister – please be well in your journey!

  3. Pauline says:

    Hi. Thank you so much James for this particular article. I have read all your past articles and they are all very insightful and helpful. I have been married to a message man for the last 10 years and am very grateful to God that I have freedoms like attending a different church although it does cause tensions from time to time. My husband is a wonderful man and I see how conflicted he is about my attending a denominational church. I agree with you that it is important to look on him with compassion as a man who is trapped and struggling to come to terms with the idea that his wife does not share his religious belief which is the most important thing to him. I have tried to discuss the issue in the message to no avail. I decided to fight the fight on my knees and trust God to do what I am unable to do. Nothing is impossible to Him. It is difficult as I have children to consider as my husband insisted on taking them to church with him but again I am thankful that I am now in a position (because of Bible Study) to understand what they are being taught and to correct gently without putting their father in a bad light. It requires a lot of wisdom which calls for a lot of prayer. Thanks again for sharing your thoughts and I pray for strength that you may continue in your pursuit of helping people. God bless!

  4. James Rozak says:

    Dear Pauline,

    Most of all, I want to say how much I appreciate the tone and words you spoke in regards to your husband. I think that is the balm required to keep hearts soft and allow for the best possible outcomes. One only needs to realize that antagonizing behaviours and actions only produces further tension and friction. It doesn’t mean that difficult and genuine conversations aren’t possible – but it shows that you care and mean no harm or disrespect.

    Keep praying and keep loving – and I trust that the future will reveal more opportunities to discuss the issues.

    Thank you for the very kind feedback, and wonderful wishes to you and your family,

  5. rocco b rubino says:

    dear pauline;

    i was greatly touched by your testimony.

    your Christlike behavior is a treasure. i do not know how your particular situation will work out, but you love Jesus Christ and that is what is important.

  6. Keep speaking the truth. Women need to pray for wisdom and courage. Get help / godly counseling as soon as the problems start. Too many wait,have children, and then it’s even more difficult.The casualties; one beat thru two pregnancies, one escaped death but barely, and one in the grave. All message marriages.

  7. Ntinu Mpindi says:

    I am literally dumbstruck with what I read. I was born and raised in a Message family. As a traveller I have a been to many countries and many tabernacles though I am certain that there is an absolute difference between what is and what is true. We as boys even into adulthood have been taught by our parents, preachers how to love, honour, respect and treasure women as wives. That is not something for debate for it is Thus Saith the Lord. The greatest thing God has given man out of Salvation is a Good Wife; to love, lead, care for, provide and companionship AND this is redundant throughout brother Branham’s sermons.

    I partook in an online meeting concerning the positioning of women in a home and society and laws. I made it transparently clear that men use the right texts for wrong biddings. Simply because slavers used the Bible to colonize Africans does not make the make the Bible false to all Africans. The Bible teaches us that the women are the weaker vessel yet in no way does it mean that they should be exposed to any sort of abuse much like a baby, that is, literally a weak vessel. An entire family vows to protect, care, nurish, provide for it (that’s probably why a husband would refer to his wife as baby). Husbands by nature are supposed to do the same for their wives especially Message Husbands.

    In my society most denominational and heaven girls seek Message Men because they are known to be good, honest and loving husbands due to being God fearing men.

    Brother Branham was redundant in Paul’s words; husband love your wife as Christ loved the Church. That’s more than enough… There will never be an example that can to that. Can you imagine what Christ went through for His love, the Church and we Message husbands should type that.

    Growing up as a message believer I have seen the clear line of what the word says and what make believers do. Do not crucify the Message for make believers, Christ is perfect, the Message perfect… We by God’s Absolute Mercy seek to honour that.

    These individuals may read what we read, they may look like us, speak like us, walk like us BUT trust me only the fruits of their lives separates us from them.

    The Message has perfectly poditioned women. Our sisters even the heavens are to be respected. Brother Branham said and the Bible confirms that God can never listen to a husband who has disheartened his wife. Woman was not taken from man’s head so that she could be above him nor from his feet that she could be under him but from the side next to his heart. So that she will always be loved, “Equal” , to him. That was a part of God’s Redemption Plan. That God as Jesus could restore. What was woman’s position to man in the beginning? Co Equal, thus saith the Lord. Please do not interpret the word to fit your weaknesses.

    Now, after the BLOOD, man and wife are equal and that’s due to the restoration plan. Bone of my bone and flash of my flash. Brother Branham even goes further by stating that God took a portion, the most delicate portion of Adam’s soul which was Eve. So it’s not blasphemy to say soul of my soul.

    Any man that can consciously abuse his wife, message husband or not. Any man who can directly abuse his wife is the lowest life organism to exist. That’s lower than the flee that feeds on bacteria.

    Brother Branham made it clear concerning headship. If your wife disrespects you, evaluate yourself and see how you have been disrespecting Christ, once you have sorted that out… What you want from your wife is done automatically.
    Sarah called her husband, my lord… Has any man apart from me ever asked. What did Abraham do? Because his must have done something right and constant to get that respect. Respect is earned and that even from your wife. Husband first love your wife, the respect will come.

    Making up laws in the house… You will have a nervous breakdown, your wife will have a nervous breakdown… Just fall in love… That’s what Branham taught us. Message men/ husbands take care, treasure, honour, support, uplift, motivate, mother, father, sister and brother their wives these are teachings I was taught growing up in the Message so forgive me for appearing radical but the men mentioned of doing such gastardly acts may move among us but are not one of us.

    Adam loved Eve more the the Word so man fell. Ahab was already a make believer that’s why he married likewise. BUT what about Christ? That’s our paradigm as Message believers. The Message is not law… It will never be law because Christ is not law. Jesus is love and so is the Message.

    I cannot say I know how these sisters feel because I am a man. I have a mother and four sisters, I can only sympathize. BUT as to undermine the Word of God simply because of a band of cowardly hypocrites is ridiculous. Will you falsely accuse the disciples simply because Judas sold Jesus ?

  8. James Rozak says:

    Greetings, and thank you for your contribution. I can appreciate that the perspective you are writing from is that of a Message Believer. Your writing, however, did not address what I was writing about. It merely gave a glowing report of what the message has provided for understanding marriage and defended that it has perfectly positioned men/women. I would applaud and commend any man who does indeed treat his partner with love and respect. To your point, I can honestly say the majority of men I knew in the message were good, and did their best to treat their wives well. I have no quarrel with that. I also knew many men who treated their wives terribly; but again, that isn’t the issue I was raising.

    The specific circumstance which I was addressing is that of a wife who openly faces and questions the possibility that “the message” and William Branham are not (absolute) truth. There is a dire consequence to this where her situation becomes extraordinarily difficult. The reasons are not difficult to see, and I was helping explain how/why it happens and why message women are particularly vulnerable to abuse. Given that I have received email and talked to dozens upon dozens of women who are facing angry, abusive behavior from their husband for the crime of questioning the message, it’s a worthy subject for me to address.

    If a wife has the audacity to sincerely question the truth of the message, should she be treated like a dog? If she should conclude that the message is false, should be threatened with vile words, with threats and acts of physical violence, with abject neglect? This does happen and it has happened to many, many women. This isn’t a situation where glowing admonishment about how men should treasure their wives; this is about a real situation and sheer survival. There’s a point where a decision needs to be made that is both practical and tangible. If you are concerned about this and want to address this subject, then your writing would be better to admonish how these men could better act to cope within the situation so the wife doesn’t need to run for fear of her well-being. How should a good message husband act towards an unbelieving wife?

    While I do not advocate for divorce, my contention is this; it is a horrible prospect to live married to someone who threatens your life, security and sanity – and it us unacceptable. Rather than be bound to years of abusive marriage in this situation, I absolutely, 100% advocate for choosing safety and well-being as a course of action. If it means separation – so be it. It would be better for both than to live within such caustic conditions. You can accuse me of being ridiculous for undermining the word of god. I just happen to think lofty speeches about ‘what should be’ does little to help – and sometimes, speaking honestly and acting with common sense is more prudent.

    Thank you for taking the time to write,
    James Rozak

  9. Alta Allchin says:

    Hallo James. I am. 65 yrs young. Married to one off them for nearly 6 years. What a mistake. He is 72 now. Giving me a hard time. He even tell me that I do not have the Holy Spirit. He have no income at all dit not provide for old age time. I got a small pension but he got nothing for petrol rates and taxes and sot on hos behind doing nothing in rhe house. I hate every moment in this situation.

  10. I joined the message church for six months because the man to marry requested but after realising the belief system and attitudes towards women I stopped attending church. My man really loves and wants to marry me but he is so confused that am no longer going to hus church as I now attend denominational church. We love each other to bits! At church our relationship is condemned.

  11. Joeseph says:

    Hi folks, I am a devout Baptist, and I am in a relationship with a Woman who is a message believer.we have intent to get married but she is insisting that I accept her (End time message belief ) before we get married. I as a baptist am being used to minister through Sunday School (Adults), Church Planting ministry, Bible Study and Prayer meeting ministries, Please advise how stressful and traumatic it would be if both husband and wife have different set of beliefs / doctrines / denominations! Message believers claim that they are not affiliated or associated with any denomination or doctrine but indeed they are!

  12. James Rozak says:

    Hello Joeseph, and thank you for writing. I can see you are in a difficult situation, and I appreciate the concern you have in writing.
    That is in fact a difficult question to answer. I think such situations can differ on the basis of the individuals in the relationship – there are many levels of questions/considerations that one might need to explore. I am a believer that genuine love can compensate for a great many differences in a couple – and differences themselves don’t need to be a problem. However – when it comes to religious practice, I think there’s an extra degree of complication. And in this instance, given the contrast between the Baptist church/teachings and the Message church/teachings… the differences are quite significant.

    The message is ABSOLUTELY a denomination, by the very definition of it. They have a saying that claims that they have no law but love…no creed but Christ, and no book but the Bible. It is a beautiful sentiment – if it were true. Their churches are rife with rules and laws – to the extent they have books of acceptable ‘church order & conduct’ that help guide what is and is not acceptable behavior. They claim no creed but Christ – but have sets of doctrines/teaching that are unique, “spiritually hidden” from the eyes of unbelievers, and baffling to anyone outside it’s walls. They say they have no book but the Bible – but they collect, listen to, print and distribute the sermons of William Branham as though it were above the Bible itself. So yes… you are exactly right when you say they are the very definitition of the thing they say they are not; they are an organized system of churches that are enclosed, separated, exclusive under the banner of “The Message of the Hour”.

    On that basis – there is a significant possibility that you will encounter great struggle. I think it would depend on you and her personally. How devoted are you to the path you are on? If you are both individually strongly set – consider the differences. How much you are willing to love, care and connect with each other with grace and longsuffering within the differences? I would ask, how have you experienced spiritual fellowship together? Is there harmony, absolutely communion, safety and a freedom to share and exchange spiritual thoughts/opinion? Do you go to church together? What do you feel when you listen to the preaching of William Branham? How will you raised your children to believe? Will you be able to navigate the ‘laws’ of the message in your home without creating conflict/disapproval? If you feel like there is a struggle now… I think it will continue, and possibly become worse.

    I have known couples who had different opinions – one believing the message and the other not – but they had love and respect. And with that – they managed. I have know couples in the same situation – and they were miserable. If I were in your position – I would take the following approach. If you really care for the best interests in the other… then looking past the good feelings you have so that you can have an brutally honest conversation about what the future will be if you are in spiritual disagreement is crucial. For how much it might hurt to talk about it – it will be much better than years, and years of living together while feeling tore apart. Sometimes the best thing love can do…is to let go.

    I would never insist upon breaking up a couple, especially when I can only comment from afar. But you both deserve a hard, honest conversation. And from that – you’ll better know what you must do. I wish you wonderful blessings, and that you both can find the path that is both good and right.

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